Say ‘Good night!’ and Go

I am all fine now. No worries. I needed to unleash all my pent-up frustrations and wallow in self-pity (and no, it wasn’t just about him). While I did shed a few tears, they weren’t enough to result in swollen, reddish eyes that would have indicated to my parents what I was going through.

My plan worked. My inner creepiness did get him to be frank with me. He had written some things in his first (and probably the last) letter to me which I took literally. He was actually trying to be playful by mentioning things like ‘grandkids’. Well, I didn’t exactly plan all of this. Perhaps my subconscious took over because I was done being in limbo. I couldn’t talk to him on YM because he never did log on. I tried e-mailing him and those ended up unreplied (only because he hadn’t checked his e-mail). I had to do something and I admit it was a little extreme. Extremely creepy. But not Glenn-Close-Fatal-Attraction-Bunny-Boiling creepy. To his benefit, he was apologetic and admitted his mistakes. He still wanted to be friends (but with my confession that I had done it to find out what the situation was - who knows what he wants now).

Whatever happens, I’ll just go with the flow. Let’s hope I get a job at that resort on the island and I can look forward to fresh starts. Meeting new people (who aren’t younger than me), getting a salary again…

I found a protected post that I had written about him and the last line went something like this: “You can’t lose something you never had, can you?” And that is so true. And that is why I’m back to being me.

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