Nov 26 2006
The Problem with long-distance relationships
Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts, brought about after reading an e-book entitled “e-Luv: An Internet Romance”. You may download the full text in .pdf thanks to Creative Commons for free. Or you may buy the book. Details here: The Friday project. It’s hilarious, but I’m not too sure about the ending. Anyway, before you proceed reading below, do bear in mind that I’m talking in general and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely intentional coincidental.
And I’m not talking about those serious romances where the couple were together and then torn apart due to educational/employment reasons. I’m talking about internet friendships that seem to take on a life of their own after several weeks of intense conversation. You feel like you’ve ‘met’ the one person who understands you and has similar interests and if there were no oceans separating the both of you, you would have definitely been together by now.
Alas! With only an IM chat window to read and those smileys to rely on, it is extremely difficult to gauge that one person’s mood for the day/week. And when you don’t hear from the other for days, you can’t help but jump into conclusions. Without body language to fall back on, you can’t help but wonder, “Has he met someone else? Maybe he saw the light and realized that I’m really not that great. Maybe he didn’t get a joke and thinks I would really say such a thing…” The list of unanswered questions goes on and on. You can’t really write and ask them to explain themselves, all that paranoia is bound to freak them out, so you wait and hope. And wilt a little each day when you don’t hear from them.
Without being able to peer into their eyes, can one ’see’ how the other feels about them? Was there a wink? Was there a yawn? Words may be copied and pasted. You can’t detect insincerity like a lie-detector while reading a message. When they talk of being together, do they really mean it or is it just a scenario to assure the other?
Of course, with a webcam, some of those problems are resolved. But what if the other doesn’t have a webcam to utilize? What then?
Okay, end of post. I hope nobody freaks out after reading this. 
All these points and more are mentioned in the book.
7 Responses to “The Problem with long-distance relationships”
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OMG, you tracked me down! Phew, good thing I gave a link back to the Friday Project and mentioned the option of buying it. I would have preferred an end where you’re actually on the plane. Thank you for leaving a comment, Dave. And for freaking me out.
Thank you for leaving your comments, Dinah and Happybutterfly. I just got back, hence my delay in updating and replying.
I thought it was a great book too, Dinah. Dave deserves good things for writing that. =)
Yes! I’m not the only one who thought about it. I guess what I wanted was to read more of the story. I didn’t want it to end there.
Maybe Dave forgot all the events after reaching the airport, everything becoming a blur in all the excitement. =)
Thanks for the entry Sharlini, me and “her” enjoying it. Got it finished in a span of 3 hours…
Kudos to Dave.